Friday, November 12, 2010

Ek tha A. Raja

Although Rahul Gandhi and A. Raja don’t look gay icons, I can’t fathom UPA government’s obsession with A. Raja.

While the whole world may be boggling with the kind of figure (before you open your mouth, it’s about money figure, and not Katarina Kaif’s curves) involved in allocating 2G spectrum to service providers, the congress for the fear of Government collapse is protecting A. Raja in the same vigor Mithun would show while protecting his sister getting molested in some [insert-name-here] movie.

Mr. Rahul Gandhi (who has been diagnosed with the disease called ‘selective memory’ where a person forgets/remembers the things conveniently) who always goes gaga with the congress principles and ethics seems to be hidden under momma’s saree ka pallu when anything unpleasant thing happens with congress men.

Coming back to Hero (I will address A. Raja as ‘hero’ during the remainder of the post - without any particular reason) again....
In the classic defense of himself, the Hero quotes that "We followed the 1999 telecom policy while giving 2G licences". It just doesn’t make any sense at all to sell the licenses in 2008 based on prices in 2001, does it Mr. Hero? If you think so - then for the fuck’s sake you should settle on the salary in 2001 and deny the recent proposed salary hike in 2010.

We are fortunate enough as the Hero didn’t follow policies in 1899 in his previous birth before his re-incarnation in this century; else the money figure involved in scam would have been difficult to handle even for 64-bit CPUs.

This is the most appropriate example of how a government servant with full authority but no accountability can screw the government itself. In bollywood language it’s like jis thali mein khana khata hai usi mein chhed karta hai

The hero goes on saying that ‘She (Jayalalithaa) has no moral right to speak on this.
Okay, by which logic, just because Lady Khali (Jayalalithaa) did some wrong (okay, many wrong) things during her tenure, makes you any less culprit in the 2G scam? You are still 1000% responsible for causing a loss of Rs.170,000 crore to the national exchequer.

As per one more news 'Allegedly the telecom department had followed the policy of first-come-first-serve basis in the allocation of 2G spectrum licenses.'  Is this a mundane PMC bus-stand or goddamnit railway station where you followed the first-come-first-serve rule, Mr. Hero? I’m not sure if you have any daughters and if you have – by god I just hope you would not follow the same rule for their marriage.

Abhi bhi waqt hai sudhar jao, hero. If you still have got some shame, then please resign yourself for the sake of congress’s fucking image at least.

The country no doubt will be on losing end despite the arrival of 3G, 4G, 5G and….[n]G technologies in future unless we get rid of moronic RajaG.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Golden Queues


I’m not trying to hurt any woman intentionally in the post below. It’s just that I couldn’t resist the urge to write a post on whatever I experienced that evening.

Here you go!

Recently I happened to purchase some gold with my money (of-course not voluntarily - my wife dragged me out of home). I feel that it’s sort of dead investment (not that I’m quiet good at ‘live’ investments either, but that could be the subject for another post).

The shop that my wife had chosen is supposed to be one the renowned one in Pune. I, in vain tried asking her why this shop only when there are dozens of others which are quiet nearby.

but ------------ $&*$&*$$(*$)(*$)(*$)(*$)(*()$*()*$()*$()*()*) #$#(*$#)#($)()@~~----
however $&*$&*$$(* *$)(*$)(*$)(*()$*()*$()*$()*()*)(*()#$#(*$#)#($)()@~~---- --
arre -----------&*$$(*$)(*$)(*$)(*$)(*( …..)*$()*()*)(*()#$#(*$#)#($)()@~~-………

After several failed attempts of convincing her, as you guys figured out correctly, I was dribbling my vehicle through the mad rush in evening on Laxmi road, towards the shop she had chosen. I somehow found some (sacred) space to park my vehicle.

Neil Armstrong might not have felt so luckier than me after parking his rocket (or whatever machine NASA used to propel their asses against gravity) over the moon.

We steadily walked towards shop. I had passed by this shop over a zillion times. Okay if not zillion – at least million times. But never noticed that it’s actually there (well, I’m a person who walks by his own nose – at least my wife thinks so). As we were entering the shop, I got my first shock as I saw a long queue starting from inside of the shop and growing exponentially outside. OMG, how on earth, can there be so maddening rush to buy gold? I checked again if it was a gold shop or we had accidentally hit at an egg seller’s shop. I also checked the possibility if ‘free’ gold was being distributed today.

It was a gold shop indeed. So there was I standing in queue to buy gold. As we were creeping through the queue, one question flashed in my mind. If we have seen one of worst economic crunches of all times recently, how the heck, so many people are out to buy gold just because it’s some good occasion (muhurat, called Gurupushyamrut).

After intense thinking and then giving up as I didn’t find the answer to this question.
Eureka, Eureka!! 
I got my answer as i looked at my wife then.
(fortunately I wasn’t in a bath-tub in disrobed condition to run out yelling like Archimedes).

There seemed many helpless creatures like me who obliged to accompany their wives in the ‘golden’ queue.
I think most of them were not there to buy gold for their wives - rather they were 'forced' to buy gold for their wives!!

After this incident, I always knew that the gold shop owners in India (I doubt whether firings are so obsessed with gold) can sustain the endless world wars and toughest of the economic recessions.

Long live Indian women and their obsession for gold!!

PS: As I’ve completed my post, my wife has warned me to exclude all the ‘offensive’ references. So I’m publishing this post for the sake my readers only so that they don't get deprived of  another master piece. :-) (I’m quite good at self-praise..ain’t I?)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Desi Firangis!!

I'm seeing the nightmares these days of going back to those old BritishRaj days where Firangis at their will screwed our lives (No, I didn't see it in Raj Pichhale Janam ka!).

Circa 2010 and the Firangis are back. Never mind they don't have white skins, but certainly their deeds would embarrass actual Firangis as well. They wear the bandanas of patronage as if they have all the responsibility of the state on their broad (?) shoulders.

Yes, it doesn’t take a genius of Archimedes to guess what am I talking about. You must have seen in the 24*7 news relays of Sena honchos taking on anyone (Tendulkar, Amitabh, SRK are the latest who suffered). They are clever enough to target the hottest celebrities out there as they get a free (undeserved) footage on national channels.

The dynasty is a disease that Indian Politics is blessed (??) with. The predecessors of these powerful leaders from earlier generations inherited just the POWER from their ancestors, let the ethics be damned. As they say, if you wanna taste the real character of a person, assign him Power. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely!

They don’t need to migrate to some other places for survival so they probably won’t understand the woes of migrants, be it a desi Patel going to US or a Bihari babu coming to Mumbai. Ever imagined what those labor class dudes are doing now after being expelled by brave heart (huh) MNS lads.

It might be just another move in the politics for leaders but it’s question of life for migrants. Come on dude, you still believe that people are chu*#$yas not to understand these games?

Does the question “My Name Is Khan to be released peacefully” is really of greater significance than the millions of problems common man is pissed off with?? If Uddhav T. asks his question to his soul before going to bed, his conscience will give him the correct answer.

So why does he take a stand on an issue which he even understands is such a paltry issue?

Still confused?? Don’t be.

BMC elections are just round the corner and this guy is just doing the ground work through such gimmicks. After all he also needs a survival and has got a family to feed… bravo!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Shawshank Redemption!!

I happened to see The Shawshank Redemption last night and it made me awake all the night. Okay... that’s a bit exaggeration. Not for all night but it certainly evoked some emotions from some part of my cerebrum for some time.

It’s a story of two jail inmates turned friends, their perceptions of hope. A story of qualities such persistence, strength of mind. Every character from the film teaches us something.

The hero Andy (Tim Robbins) gets convicted for murdering his wife whom he catches with her lover in bed. He then is sent to Shawshank jail where he meets the character Red. Andy decides to open-up a library in a jail. However since the funds are not sufficient he sends letter to authorities for sanctioning the funds for the books. His friends suggest him that it’s all in vain as the letters would not be getting any response.

Since Andy is a die-hard optimist, he decides to send the letter to the authorities every week. Surprise-surprise, one day he receives response to his letters which he has been sending since 6 years. The jail grants funds of $200 and some old books, not respecting Andy’s requests but to bar him from sending the letters again.

What any other inmate would have done after receiving the funds and response?

Quite predictably they would stop sending letters. However Andy sends 2 letters a week from now on till the jail decides to grant $500.

Through such many situations the director has shown Andy’s perception about hope although his friend Red believes that “Hope is a dangerous thing”.

Andy always hopes that he would be freed from the jail some day and would go to some place near Pacific Ocean opening up a small hotel by the sea-shore on some wooden boat where his close friends would come to meet him.

However small but his ardent hope makes him sail through all the darkness and makes him meet his dreams. I won’t be ending-up here describing what Andy does in the climax which certainly is a thing to watch on the screen.

Cheers to Andy and his never-say-die spirit!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

No bidders for Pak players at IPL3 auction: Is pure business the only reason?

The recent IPL auction turned many eyebrows at least from Pakistani soil.

The news of the day was: The franchisee didn't buy a single Pak player. Coincidentally Pak is the defending T20 world champion side. So in a way this was quite unexpected as Pak side has the likes of Shahid Afridi, Shoaib Malik who can turn the nerve wrenching games in their side anytime.

Is pure business the only reason?

The answer is 'no' and 'yes'.
The answer is 'no' because if this has got to do with only business reasons, the franchisees are not so insane to let the players go of Afridi's caliber.

Consider the following chain of actions:
1) IPL franchisee buys a Pak player
2) At one of the venues, lets say, Mumbai, on the day of given match where-in the "sold-out" Pak player comes to play the game.
(The IPL will be hosted in India this time. Lat year SA hosted the IPL as our Government could not give necessary protection to the tournament. The IndianPremierLeague held in some country other than India...What a paradox!!) Anyways coming back to the point.
3) The big bosses of our politics Thakares, Ranes decide, (let democracy be damned) to let any Pak player not play on the Indian soil and demolish the pitch.

If the events occur in a way described as above, the franchisee would get screwed if it had bought the Pak players at a whopping prices.

The answer is 'yes' because in foresight franchisees have made a decision out of the business sense only (considering the fact that the money invested in Pak players may go for a toss).

Friday, January 15, 2010

DSP (Devil_Skinned_Police) Rathore and his Obnoxious actions!!

The last month of the year 2009, the world saw yet another classic example how bureaucracy and judiciary works in Shining India.

Having seen all the footage from media on how Rathore molested the girl, harassed his brother/family, dumped the evidences, got the girl evacuated out of school..gosh, i can just go on listing ways the law was bent at every juncture in Ruchika case.

I sometimes wonder whether this "brave" Punjabi lad was a actual protector of the law or the pimp of the law.

Had not media blown this issue again (media does behave in a sensible way sometime, for a change) Rathore would have completed his 6 months of custody in peace and freed again to molest more & more Ruchikas barely of his grand-grand-daughter's age.

At 50+, what aphrodisiac this guy must be taking to get going!
We just can't imagine the turmoil, pain that Ruchika's family suffered through all these years. b'coz of the various heinous crimes that Rathore has committed.

Mr. Rathore if you got to display your power, there are more places to showcase it other than over a innocent girl and her family. Please go to the China border, where they are screwing our border not by inches but by kms.

Clearly we can’t apply “better-late-than-never” approach everywhere as the one innocent soul has ended it's life 15 years back because no one on earth could give her justice, not even God!!